Recently, as the word gaslighting has appeared on TV or the Internet, there are many people who know the approximate meaning of the context, but know the exact meaning and wonder what kind of example is right. Rather than an exact scientific name, let’s learn about gaslighting, a term that came from somewhere.
Gaslighting refers to ‘psychological abuse that manipulates a person’s psychological state to distrust themselves and make them dependent on the perpetrator’. However, the thing to be wary of has never been accurately defined academically, and the exact meaning and standard have not been established outside of academia, so the evaluation of it is sharply divided.
The term is derived from the scene in the play Gaslight where her husband, Jack, conceals his crimes and drives the gaslight to flicker in order to psychologically oppress his wife Bella, even though Jack himself caused it to be Bella’s illusion. ‘Gaslighting’ came into existence after seeing the victims psychologically abusing themselves as issues of dating violence, domestic violence, and child abuse became an issue.
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Since it is a term without professionalism, it is difficult to apply it and define it as gaslighting. However, if we look at the common meaning and origin, we can suspect gaslighting through ‘a situation in which the victim believes himself to be a person with a problem without recognizing that his/her harm is abuse’. 좋은뉴스
If I hadn’t spilled and ate as my parents said, I wouldn’t have been so scolded and beaten.
My boyfriend hit me because I was wearing a skirt that was too short and other people looked at me.
If I had done a little better, the other person wouldn’t have been so angry, but I was wrong.
It’s hard to be treated like this here or there, so I have to endure it even if it’s hard
The expression ‘gaslighted’ is used for the above contents. It is a situation where you are blaming yourself for the cause of the damage while you are being harmed.
Did I say that you have to be clean when eating to be a pretty person? A person who spills and eats is an ugly person, that habit needs to be corrected
I hate that other people look at you and think badly of you
I’m not angry because I hate you. If you were a little more careful, I wouldn’t be this angry.
Because it’s me, I take care of you like this
It is sometimes expressed as ‘gaslighting’ with respect to the above. However, the meaning of gaslighting is not that it is a term used to pinpoint ‘expression that I said once in anger’, but the above content is repeated, causing victims to say, ‘I am really suffering because of my fault’ and ‘It is not the perpetrator’s fault, but I It should be said that it is correct to express a situation that persists enough to make you think that you should have done well.
How to avoid gaslighting
The best way to avoid gaslighting is to cut off rather than change the perpetrator’s thinking. It’s physical and emotional distance. Also, it is a good way to put the subject of judgment on yourself, not the other party, by answering ‘I’ll think about it once’ rather than ‘Okay, I’ll do that’ to the other’s instructions. There may be situations where there is no way to do so, such as gaslighting between family members or gaslighting in a relationship between superiors and subordinates at work.
It is also true that the term gaslighting is very vague. It is a situation where there is concern that even acts of justifiable concern or criticism and advice may be included in the term gaslighting, and behaviors that can be expressed in terms of lying or nagging may be highlighted by the use of the term gaslighting. no see.
It is very vague whether it is advice, interest, or gaslighting, so if you are suffering from a relationship with the other person, you need to think from a distance in order to judge this more accurately.
I need to be able to accurately determine whether I am in a situation that requires my own reflection on the advice and interest of the other person, or whether I am being harmed by my psychological pressure, whether the other person’s intention or unintended situation, There must be a way to do it.